


And I Will Find My Way Back to You

by thecheeseburgercat



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Shifting Lines - Dovah Tobi
Genre: Alternate Universe, America, Appalachia, Confrontations, Emotional Conversations, M/M, Motels, shifting lines, so many emotional conversations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:14:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27354811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecheeseburgercat/pseuds/thecheeseburgercat
Summary: When Remus' closest friends discover his lycanthropy, he makes the choice to leave Hogwarts for good. After all, his parents had warned him about the dangers of friendship. Ten years later, Sirius Black arrives in America on a quest to find his long-lost friend.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 12
Kudos: 47





	And I Will Find My Way Back to You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DovahTobi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DovahTobi/gifts).



> This is an AU fic based on the wonderful DovahTobi's long-haul series Shifting Lines.

_"When my parents find out anyone knows besides the agreed to list Dumbledore insisted on, they will flip out! They will not allow me to stay in the country, much less Hogwarts!"_

. . . 

Remus’ head was a rushing, racing cacophony of noise. He could hear his friend’s words, looping over and over again like a broken record. _We know you're a werewolf. I guessed it last winter. We know you're a werewolf. You're definitely not a monster. We know you’re a werewolf. You're our friend. We know you’re a werewolf. We know we know we know—_

None of it made sense. His brain felt fried and frozen, unable to process anything but the panic and the fear and the words. His four-poster bed felt like a cage, and the soft music coming from Sirius’ bedside table was only adding to the overwhelming mush that was his thoughts. Underneath it all, there was the low baritone voice of his father, puncturing the voices of the Marauders. _Be careful. It isn’t safe._

He let out a little whimper and hugged his knees closer to his chest. It wasn’t safe. Three people now knew his darkest secret, three kids at that! Even though it was going to break his heart, Remus knew he had to leave. Run back to his parents and be whisked off to America, where he could never hurt another living soul again. This was it, he’d failed at the one task his parents had ever stressed. Don’t make friends. Don’t give anyone the chance to even hint at his monstrous nature. He had failed, and it was his duty to endure the consequences of his horrid decisions.

Gathering the paltry remains of his courage, he unfurled himself off the bed and pushed open the curtains. Immediately, Sirius glanced up with a frown on his face. 

“Remus! Did you need something? Here, let me help…”

Remus couldn’t meet his eyes. 

“B _—_ bathroom. By m-myself.”

“Oh...ok, well, I’m here if you need me…”

Remus let himself take in Sirius’ face for what was going to be the last time. Even when it was looking rather alarmed, no one could deny it was a beautiful face. A quiet sob escaped him and he rushed out of the dorm before Sirius changed his mind and followed him. 

The moon and the whole wretched confrontation had drained his strength, and soon he was stumbling down the stairs and into the common room. He had to plan quickly before James and Peter came back with dinner for the dorm. His home was off the Floo Network, so running to Pomfrey or McGonagall and begging to floo home wouldn’t work. Swallowing his nerves, he decided it would have to be the Headmaster. A portkey would work, it would be quick and efficient...but could he pull himself together enough to ask for one without alerting the Headmaster that his secret was out? 

The portrait hole swung open, and another jolt of fear ran through him as he fervently prayed it wasn’t James and Peter. It was only a couple of older students, but this spurred him into dashing out of the common room down towards the Headmaster’s office as fast as his weakened legs could take him. His surroundings blurred, and he thought he might have passed his friends (no, just James and Peter now) on the way, but it was hard to tell. Just as he arrived at the base of the stone staircase, the gargoyle statue moved aside and there was Dumbledore. 

“P _—_ p-professor! I _—_ I need to talk w-with you…” he gasped, trying to school his face into a less panicked expression. He wasn’t sure it was working, and Dumbledore looked at him askance before gesturing up the stairs. They climbed quickly, while Remus frantically tried to calm his heart and get his brain working again. 

Upon reaching the office, Dumbledore gestured for him to take a seat, which barely registered with Remus. Instead, he blurted out “I _—_ I need to go home! Now! P _—_ p-please Professor, I _—_ I _can’t—”_ He petered off as Dumbledore held up his hand to stop him. 

“Now Remus, why don’t we just take a moment to calm down and you can tell me all about _—_ ”

“NO!” he yelled, and he knew he shouldn’t but if one more person told him to calm down this evening he thought he might lose it more than he already had. “Home. Now. I need _—_ need _—_ need my p-parents…”

“Alright, alright. I shall make sure you’ll be speaking with them, but why don’t we just take a moment to _—_ ”

“N-no. No floo. Not connected. I need _—_ need a p-portkey. Now. Please…” he gasped. Any shred of calm he had collected on the way up had fled as soon the words tumbled out. 

“Just a moment, and then we can _—_ ”

“NOW!” Remus shouted, and he could feel the wolf rear its head in his mind. He glared at Dumbledore with all the ferocity he could muster up, leaning more into the wolf than he had ever let himself do before. Keeping his eyes locked on Remus, Dumbledore picked up a quill and murmured “Portus,” and laid it down on the desk. “Alright, you will be seeing them tonight. Now, what is it that’s bothering you?”

Remus snatched up the quill and shook his head. The less he said, the better. He didn’t think he could formulate a clear explanation now anyways, and if he were to tell Dumbledore the real reason he was leaving...well, he would wipe the Marauder’s memories clean as a slate, and even though he knew that would be the safest route for him, he didn’t think he could bear it if he knew that none of his friends remembered him. Just thinking about it made his heart twist in misery. It was going to be hard enough subsisting only on the memories of joy he’d found in the past year.

“Remus. I need you to be honest with me. Why do you need to go home? You can tell me. It’s my job to ensure Hogwarts is a safe and welcoming place for you.”

Remus gritted his teeth and stared down at the floor. Why couldn’t the Portkey just take him away the second he touched it? A few tense seconds passed, and then he heard the faintest voices coming from down the stone steps. He straightened up with the wave of fear that accompanied them because those voices belonged to the Marauders. Dumbledore didn’t seem to hear them yet, but Remus could. They were arguing with the gargoyle, and then he heard it shift and the pattering of their feet as the Marauders ran up. 

“Remus. Please tell me what has you so bothered tonight. I can help you solve it if you only _—_ ”

Remus sobbed out a soft _no_ as the doors to the headmaster’s office were flung open. He whirled around and took in the sight of James, Peter, and Sirius all panting and wild-eyed, despair written onto each of their faces. He looked into Sirius’ gorgeous grey eyes just as he felt a jerk behind his navel, and then the world blurred and he was deposited unceremoniously in the living room in Dragon’s Field. 

. . . 

“ _Remus!_ ” Hope and Lyall shouted at the same time. They were both staring at him. Taking a moment to swallow down the nausea that came with Portkey travel, Remus took in their demeanours. Hope had dropped her knitting and was staring, mouth agape, at her trembling child. Lyall was stony-faced. 

“M _—_ m-mum...I _—_ I-I’m s-sorry…” Remus tried to force out the words. Hope sprang out of her seat and rushed towards him. 

“Baby, what happened? Tell us!”

But Remus couldn’t. He was too caught up in his father’s gaze. Lyall’s face had contorted from unreadable into something terrifying. Ever so slowly, he got up from his chair and stood in front of Remus. 

“Somebody found out. Didn’t they?” he asked, his voice so low it was barely audible. 

Remus dropped his head and gave the tiniest nod. Shame and terror were coursing through his body. Keeping his head low, he chanced a glance up at his father’s face, which was turning an alarming shade of puce. A muscle twitched in his jaw, and then his palm shot out and slapped Remus straight across the face, sending him sprawling to the floor. 

“What _—_ did _—_ I _—fucking—_ tell you! You stay quiet! You keep to yourself! Look what you’ve gone and fucking done now!” Lyall exploded with rage. 

“I _—_ I’m sorry! I t-tried to be careful b-but…”

“But nothing. You must have gotten too close to someone. Merlin, of all the stupid, idiotically dimwitted things to do. I thought I had made myself _clear_!”

Remus crawled back until he hit the wall, and folded himself into the corner. Cowering just like an animal, he thought, the shame of it coursing through his body. Hope still looked stunned, and Lyall was shaking with anger. 

“We’re leaving. Now. Hope, go pack up anything of value,” Lyall said. Glaring at Remus again, he asked “Who knows you’ve left? Or should I say, who knows what you _are_?”

“J-just D-Dumbledore and m-my d-dormmates…" 

“Your fucking dormmates. Potter and Black. Fantastic,” Lyall snarled. “Ten minutes, Hope. We can’t afford to stay here any longer.” 

Hope gave a tiny squeak in agreement and then began rushing about the room, darting into the kitchen to scoop up anything they’d need to take with them. Where exactly they’d go, Remus didn’t know. His mother had threatened to go to America before if things went south, but they had never breached the subject in great detail. Until now, Remus hadn’t thought it to be anything more than a terrifying abstract concept. 

Watching his mother run about the house, Remus realized that he’d left Hogwarts with nothing more than the clothes on his back. All his favourite books, all his notes, most of his clothes, and Gwyllgi, he realized with a pang, were back in Scotland. He’d never see them again. 

“Get up and help your mother,” Lyall spit, shaking Remus out of his thoughts. His head feeling floaty, he climbed the stairs and entered his tiny bedroom. There wasn’t much to gather up, but he grabbed a few of his old paperbacks, some parchment and quills, and combed through his drawers before realizing that they were essentially bare as the only things left were clothes he’d long outgrown. There was a knock at the door, and then Hope entered with her arms full of sacks. 

“Remus darling? Oh, baby, you know this is all for the best,” she said, sitting down next to him on the bed. “I need to know darling, did you do everything you could to avoid them? You were too smart to go and make friends with your dormmates.”

Remus shook his head. He supposed there was no harm in telling her that he had made friends now, but he was afraid of incurring her disappointment. Or worse, her wrath. 

“Come on. My baby would never go against my word. How did they find out, hmm?” 

Remus stared down at his hands, twisting them into the fabric of his jumper. 

“Y-you don’t understand!” he cried out. “You n-never u-understood. I _—_ I was so _lonely_!” 

“Oh, darling. You should have never gone to that school. Your place has always been here, with me. We’ll finally be together again,” she said, stroking his hair. It felt like her nails were raking across his skull. “There won’t be any loneliness once the three of us are back under one roof. We shouldn’t have sent you back after the first year. Or better yet, sent you at all,” she muttered. He felt itchy and uncomfortable under her touch. It was like shivers were spiralling down his body from her grip on his hair. 

Pulling away, he mumbled, “M-mum, I really don’t think we have the t-time to t-talk about this now.” 

“Of course. We’ll have plenty of time to talk once we’ve gotten away from here, all three of us together. I think we’re long overdue,” she said. Before Remus could start worrying about what _that_ meant, he heard his father’s heavy footsteps coming up the stairs. Lyall opened the door and looked over at his wife and child sitting side by side on the narrow bed. He seemed to have calmed down a bit, but Remus could sense his heavy breathing and the tension of his muscles. 

“Ready? We need to leave now,” he said. Hope nodded and slid off the bed, gathering up the few possessions they’d be taking with them. Lyall looked at Remus, who had stood up with her. 

“We need to go, Remus.”

He shakily nodded and then he asked “W-where are we going, e-exactly?”

Lyall stared at him and then looked over at Hope, who shook her head. “I’ll take you both by side-along somewhere in the city for tonight. We’ll stay in a hotel for the night, get everything ready, then leave properly in the morning,” he answered.

“Y-yes, b-but w-where are we going...p-permanently?” Remus mumbled, still feeling out of the loop. Surely they had an idea as to where, which country or which state? 

“I don’t know. We’ll figure it out tonight. Hope, I’ll take you first,” Lyall said, taking her hand. With a pop, they were gone. The bed creaked as Remus sat back down, looking around his bare bedroom. The last he’d see of home. But, he realized, it hadn’t felt like home for quite a while. He had already left his true home hundreds of miles away. His home was a dorm of red and gold, filled with the laughter of his friends. Merlin, his friends. They were probably insisting Dumbledore let them go after him, badgering him to make another portkey. He thought he had already exhausted his supply of tears tonight, but the thought of his brilliant, loving friends annoying the Headmaster for his sake, even when they _knew_ what he was, was too much. The tears came and soon he was hunched over on the bed, sobbing into his jumper. He tried to stop them, knowing his father would be back any second, but there was no use. A sharp crack rang out as Lyall apparated back into his room and took in his appearance. 

“Get up,” he said. His voice was flat and completely devoid of emotion. “Time to go.”

Remus dried his eyes with his sleeve, and then hauled himself off the bed and took his father’s arm. Lyall looked down at him and said “Remus. This will be a fresh start. And it’s for the best. For all of us. You know that.”

He gave a slight nod. Yes, this was for the best. It was going to be horrid and it was going to be painful, but it was for the best. After all, a monster was never meant to live alongside humans. Solitude was his rightful place. 

He felt the rush of his father’s magic surround him, squeeze him, carry him away. 

. . .

_Ten Years Later_

You could describe Sirius Black in many words, and they would probably be accurate. Reckless, bold, hot-headed. But if there was one word you couldn’t use, Sirius thought, it was a quitter. No, Sirius Black was the kind of man who would follow a trail until the very end, until the last crumbs of a clue disappeared and there was nothing left to follow. Call it canine instinct if you like, but it was a quality that he demonstrated long before he could put on the dog. It first showed itself very young in childhood, when it was only him and Regulus against the world in that grim old house. It was this aching perseverance that led Sirius to where he stood now, taking in the scenic mountains of Appalachia, his eyes sharp for any sign of civilization nestled in the hills. It was indeed a beautiful view, like nothing you could see in Britain. But over the past few months he had grown rather tired of beautiful views.

Placing his rucksack on the ground, Sirius pulled out his wand and started going through his regular set of detection charms. He cast spells to detect Muggle-Repelling charms, anti-Apparition wards, and a whole list of other protective wards. He was an old hat at them by now, and after a few minutes of casting, he slipped his wand back into its holster and let out a scream of frustration, his voice echoing back at him as it bounced off the mountains. He took out a small leatherbound notebook from his sack, and crossed out the last line on his list. 

~~_(44.933696, -428.937373), Maine_ ~~

~~_(45.120053, -448.560603), Wisconsin_ ~~

~~_(45.859412, -466.261272), Montana_ ~~

~~_(42.875964, -483.327575), Oregon_ ~~

~~_(37.265310, -475.568396), Nevada_ ~~

~~_(32.287133, -459.981249), Texas_ ~~

~~_(37.195331, -442.875108), Kentucky_ ~~

~~_(37.609880, -441.555243), West Virginia_ ~~

Six months of searching coast to coast, and not a single sign of the Lupins. Of course, America was incredibly vast, but Sirius had thought that his years of research into magical theory and location-based magical tracing would have helped narrow the field. It had worked out on paper, as only about a hundred and fifty locations had shown traces of uncontrolled lycanthropic magic, but he had visited every single one and there was no Remus to be found. Even though today his spells had shown no trace of magic, Sirius wasn’t about to let his last possible location go without the full treatment. He reached into the sack and pulled out his tent, looking around for a good place to pitch it for the evening. He would spend a full twenty-four hours at the site, putting up the strongest magic-detecting wards he could. If anything remotely magical happened in the surrounding area, he would be alerted to its exact location. He set up the tent in a copse of trees, then headed in for the night. 

The tent was enchanted with an undetectable extension charm, but it was a far cry from the comfort of his flat in London. Sirius flung himself onto the tiny cot and then pulled out an ornate hand mirror from his pocket. 

“James Potter,” he said. He stared at his own exhausted reflection for a moment before his face was replaced with James’. 

“Hey Padfoot, what’s up? Can’t talk for long, Harry’s gotten himself into Lily’s paints and is having probably too much fun,” he said.

“Sounds like a good time,” Sirius forced a smile. “Always happy to hear about the Prongslet’s latest adventures.”

“Mate, I know you didn’t just call to chat. How’s the search going?”

“Well, I’ve finally reached the end of the list. And there’s been nothing. Not a single trace. Once I’m done staking out this place, I don’t _—_ I don’t know what to do. Where to go. But I can’t give up on him, Prongs, I can’t!”

“Padfoot. You’ll figure it out. You always do. Remember when you got stumped back in seventh year over tracing lycanthropic magic? But you figured it out. Say, where are you exactly?”

“West Virginia,” Sirius replied miserably. “I don’t understand. It seems like the perfect place to hide a werewolf. And the calculations showed such a thick concentration of magic. But the charms aren’t picking anything up,” James was about to answer, no doubtably to reassure him, but Sirius had to get out what had been weighing on his mind. 

“Prongs, what if we’ve been doing this wrong all along? All we ever had was Remus’ word that they would take him to America, but there was never a guarantee that they actually would. He could be anywhere! We could have been working off the wrong theory all along!”

“Sirius. Take a deep breath. It’ll be alright mate, we’re not going to give up on him. Finish searching this place, and then if nothing turns up, we’ll plan some more and figure out our next steps. Alright?” James said. Sirius could hear Harry babbling in the background, and then a crash and _sploosh_ sound. 

“Oh shite, sorry Pads, I’ve got to go. Chin up mate. It’s not over til it’s over,” James said, and then his face disappeared and Sirius was back to looking at his own miserable reflection. 

“It’s not over til it’s over,” he sighed and he slipped the mirror back into his pocket. It was going to be a long night. Better distract himself, Sirius thought. He reached into the rucksack, another product of the handy extension charm, and pulled out his record player and the scrapbook. Putting on one of his favourite records, he relaxed into the cot and opened up the scrapbook. He was forever thankful that Peter was such an avid photographer, even when they were young. He would have no images of Remus except what his memory could dig up if that hadn’t been the case. Flipping through these pages was always a good way to remind himself why it was necessary not to give up. Eventually he nodded off, hands curled around the book, which was open to a picture of the four of them smiling in the bright Hogwarts sunshine. 

Sirius was woken up in the early hours of the morning by the sound of the magic detection wards going off, and he was up and out of bed in a flash, reaching for his wand. Cramming his feet into his shoes, he hurried out of the tent and checked on the wards. _It’s the Apparition_ _wards going off_ , he realized. _Somebody’s triggered them_. He cast his own modified variation of the Trace charm, designed to track any magical presence, not just illegal underage magic. Sure enough, a shimmering line of magic wove its way down the hillside and into the forested valley before him. He felt his heartbeat speed up. In the countless locations he had searched before, he had never gotten this far. Time to put into motion the plan he had been thinking over for years. 

Sirius went back into the tent, and packed up his rucksack, pulling out the invisibility cloak. After a quick glance in the mirror at his appearance, making sure he didn’t look a total fright, he headed out into the early morning sunshine. 

He followed the winding trail of magic deep into the woods, making his way through the hilly terrain. A thin river twisted its way alongside his path, the gentle babbling being the only sound his ears could pick up. Eventually the forest thinned and he was facing a small clearing, and in the middle of that clearing was a tiny cottage. Catching his breath, Sirius put on the invisibility cloak and silently made his way around the edge of the clearing. There was a candle burning in the upstairs window of the cottage, so someone must live there. Rounding his way across the back, Sirius froze as he spotted a woman kneeling over a vegetable patch, weeding. She brushed off her hands on her apron and turned to face his side of the garden, and Sirius stifled a gasp. She was rather short and middle-aged, and in her face he could see Remus. She knelt over another patch of garden and Sirius backed up until his back hit a tree, hands shaking. Hardly able to tear his eyes off of Mrs. Lupin, he slowly made his way around the house. There was no sign of Mr. Lupin, and besides the candle burning upstairs, no sign of life in the house at all. 

Cautiously, he made his way to the front door of the cottage. There was a tiny window at around eye level, and he peered in. He could see what appeared to be a sitting room. Pulling off the cloak, he knocked softly on the door and waited. He could hear a slight shuffling within, and he knocked again, this time a bit louder. A pair of amber eyes appeared in the window, and he was instantly transported a decade back in time. They widened in fear and then disappeared out of sight. 

“Remus! It’s Sirius. Sirius Black. I _—_ I know it’s been a while, it’s been a long time, but if you would hear me out I’d really like to talk with you,” he pleaded, heart racing. A long beat of silence, and then he heard a soft voice say “Go away.” 

Sirius’ heart was pumping so fast he was afraid Remus would hear it through the door, his hands shaking with adrenaline. He was not about to come this close only to be turned away at the doorstep. 

“Remus...please. It might be only me right here, but I’m not the only one who’s missed you. James, Peter, Lily...we’ve all missed you terribly. And if you really don’t want anything to do with us, that’s alright! Honestly, we just need to know that you’re ok and that you’re happy, and if you are then we’ll _—_ we’ll leave you alone if that’s what you want. Or need. Just...please open the door,” he said. 

Remus’ eyes appeared at the window again, and Sirius waited a breathless moment before he heard the soft _click_ of the deadbolt turning. The door opened and there was Remus, and the first thing Sirius thought was _Wow, he’s still small_. Remus glanced around the front yard, and then ushered him into the cottage. 

“H-how did you f-find me?” 

“Long story,” Sirius said, voice heavy with relief. “Real long story. Should we sit…?”

“N-no, we should _—_ should g-go upstairs. And _—_ and be quiet,” he said, his voice shaking. Sirius noticed that he was trembling. 

“Your parents…? I’m assuming that they...shouldn’t find out I’m here,” he asked. Remus nodded and headed up a set of rickety stairs, leading Sirius into a small, sparse bedroom. Remus sank down onto his bed and pulled his knees up to his chest, a posture Sirius knew all too well. He sat down beside him, and tried not to fidget. The adrenaline was making it hard to sit still, and the silence between them was becoming increasingly awkward. Remus was twisting his hands into his worn jumper, not looking over at Sirius. 

“So, I have a lot of questions. And I’m sure you do too. I’ll go first?” Sirius suggested, and Remus gave a slight nod. 

“Well, I guess...are you happy here? Wait no, that’s a pretty loaded question to start with, um...what _—_ what did you have for breakfast today?” he asked. Only thirty seconds in and he was making a fool out of himself, great. Remus looked at him strangely and stammered “W-what?”

“Sorry sorry! That’s not great either...it’s just, it’s kind of surreal actually sitting here next to you. Isn’t it funny how I’ve planned so much of this journey out and yet I never thought about what I’d say if I actually found you? And now I’m babbling, I’m sorry, I’ll just…I’ll just shut up now,” Sirius tripped over his words, feeling a blush rise to his cheeks. He looked over at Remus, who was clenching his hands into fists, the knuckles turning white. His chest was rising and falling rapidly, and Sirius could hear his breath stutter on each exhale. 

“Hey hey, there’s no need to be nervous, it’s just me. Just Sirius,” he said, starting to get nervous about Remus. He was pretty sure his presence was a bit overwhelming, and it was definitely unexpected. “Remus I’m sorry, I know this is a lot to handle, but if you could say something, maybe tell me how you’re feeling now?” 

“I _—_ I d-don’t understand,” Remus whispered, still avoiding Sirius’ eyes. 

“Don’t understand what?” Sirius asked, trying to make his voice as gentle as possible. 

“W-why did you c-come f-find me? It’s been...y-years, I thought _—_ thought you had all f-forgotten,” he got out, somehow hunching further into himself. 

“Never. Never, Remus. We could never forget you. As soon as you left the only thing that mattered was finding you again. And I’m sorry it took me so long.”

Remus raised his head and Sirius could see tears welling up in his eyes. “Y-you shouldn’t have c-come,” he said. Sirius’ heart clenched and he reached out to place his hand on Remus’ fist, needing some sort of physical contact. 

“I needed to. Remus, in the past ten years all we could think about was finding you. After you left it was...it was really hard. You’re our friend.” At that Remus startled and Sirius stroked the back of his hand in what he hoped was a comforting matter. “I’ll say it as many times as you need. You’re our friend. And Marauders don’t abandon their friends. They’ll go to the ends of the earth to make sure they’re alright.”

Remus looked rather stunned by this declaration, and it made Sirius’ heart hurt. 

“I’m a m-monster,” Remus said, so softly Sirius had to strain to hear him. 

“I don’t think so. And I have done so much research into lycanthropy, you would be amazed if I told you how many hours I’ve spent in the Hogwarts library. And all the reputable sources, and my own research, has led me to conclude that you, Remus Lupin, are probably the least monstrous being there could be. And _even_ if you make the case that you are a monster when the moon is full, then I’ve got something to show you,” Sirius declared. He slid off the bed and smiled at Remus’ shocked face. “And I’m the only one that’s here right now, but James and Peter learned as well. We think it’ll help.” And with that, he took a deep breath and transformed into Padfoot, hoping that this would be enough to show Remus he had always cared for him. 

“Y-you’re an A-Animagus? For _me?_ ” Remus asked, his eyes wide with disbelief. Padfoot whuffed and laid his head near Remus’ lap. Remus stared at him for a second, then sank his hands into Padfoot’s soft fur. This seemed to jolt him back into reality, and he started scratching behind Padfoot’s ears. “I _—_ I can’t believe...all for me? But _why?_ I left you years ago! You were...you were supposed to forget about me! Forget and just _—_ just move on with your l-lives!” Padfoot gave a snort, irritated that Remus would think so little of himself. He could never have forgotten about him, a fact that had become even clearer when the Marauders had finally achieved the Animagus transformation in their last year of school. 

Padfoot climbed up onto the bed, curling up next to Remus’ side. Remus began petting him all the way down his back, staring off into space. He looked down at the big black dog snuggled up next to him, and then let out a small sob, finally letting himself hug Padfoot, burying his face into Padfoot’s fur. Padfoot tried to curl up even closer, wanting to lick away the tears and provide as much comfort as possible. 

“I _—_ I was so l-lonely,” Remus sobbed. “I know I don’t deserve your friendship and god knows why you c-came all this way for me but I missed you. Every day I m-missed you,” he said, his arms tightening around Padfoot. They lay there, drinking in each other’s comforting presence, for what felt like an eternity until Remus’ breathing evened out and the last of the tears had been shed into Padfoot’s fur. Remus pulled his face away from Padfoot, but kept petting him while Padfoot thumped his tail. Remus let out a watery chuckle and gave him a good scratch behind the ears. “I _—_ I’m s-sorry for leaving. But it was the right choice. I’m a danger to others, especially when you were all just kids…I d-don’t think _—_ ” He cut off and looked towards the bedroom door, suddenly alert. Padfoot raised his head and pricked his ears. He could hear the footsteps of someone moving around downstairs, and then they started moving up the stairs. 

“Remus? What are you doing upstairs? I need your help out back!” It had to be Mrs. Lupin, calling for her son. Padfoot and Remus stared at each other in panic, and then Remus said “Under the bed! Quickly!” Padfoot leapt off the bed and shimmied underneath. Remus dragged his quilt halfway off so it would block him from view, then Padfoot heard the sound of pages flipping and the bed creaking as Remus sat back down again, 

“There you are. What are you doing? I thought we agreed we’d bring in the herbs together. Come on, let’s go,” Mrs. Lupin said, annoyed. 

“S-sorry Mum, I was just a-absorbed in this book, I _—_ I’ll b-be down in a few,” came Remus’ shaky voice. 

“Baby, were you crying? You look like you were crying. What’s there to cry over?”

“I _—_ I wasn’t crying. And d-don’t call me that, p-please,”

“You were, I can always tell when my darling’s upset. Come on, tell me what happened. We can have a nice heart to heart.”

“J-just a sad part in the b-book. It’s nothing. I’ll be down s-soon, just give me a few m-minutes, please?”

Padfoot wasn’t liking her tone of voice at all. He couldn’t see what was going on, but he could smell the anxiety and tension of the room. Canine instincts. 

“Remus. Tell me what’s going on.”

“M-mum. It’s j-just the book. Nothing is g-going on.” The silence that followed was so nerve-wracking, Padfoot couldn’t help but curl up and tuck his tail underneath himself. He felt like whining, but knew he should stay silent. 

“Alright baby, if that’s what you say. But you know you can tell me anything.”

“Y-yes, I know,” came Remus’s quiet reply, and then finally Padfoot heard footsteps retreating out of the room and going down the stairs. He heard Remus let out a sigh before he tugged up the quilt, letting Padfoot out from under the bed. Immediately Sirius transformed back into human form, and then he settled back down onto the bed beside Remus, closer than he dared to before. 

“That was close,” Sirius said, giving Remus a small smile. 

“T-too close. You really need to l-leave.”

“Not yet. Don’t you think there’s more to talk about? I haven’t even filled you in on what’s happened in everyone else’s lives yet!”

“T-that sounds like it’ll t-take awhile.”

“That was sort of the point. Remus, there’s going to be too much to talk about and too little time. I need to know whether you’re going to want me _—_ want us _—_ back in your life again.”

Remus looked down at his hands, which had found their way back in the jumper, twisting round and round. “I _—_ I don’t know,” he said. “This is all a _—_ a lot to take in. I never...I never expected anything to really h-happen in my l-life after I left Hogwarts. I just...k-kind of thought I’d stay here forever.”

“Look, as much as I and the others want you back with us _—_ and believe me we really do want you back _—_ if West Virginia is where you want to stay, that’s alright.”

“West...West Virginia? That’s w-where we are?”

Sirius didn’t quite know what to make of this, but the intense dislike he had always felt towards the Lupins for taking Remus away had ratcheted up to a boiling hatred. How had Remus lived in this country for the past decade without ever knowing where? “Did _—_ did your parents never tell you where you lived? They just brought you here without ever letting you know? How were you supposed to leave and live on your own one day if you don’t even know where you’re living right _now?_ ” 

“I _—_ I w-wasn’t supposed to leave. I’m _not_ supposed to leave. And... I don’t know if I s-should,” Remus whispered.

“But do you want to? Forget about me, forget about all of us, do you _want_ to live out the rest of your life here?” 

Remus looked torn and close to tears again. 

“Ok ok, I’m sorry, that’s a hard question to answer. I just wish we had more time,” Sirius said. What he really wanted to do was pull Remus in for a much-needed hug, but he wasn’t sure if that was a great idea. Young Remus had always seemed a bit touch averse, and he wasn’t sure if his touch would be appreciated now.

“I _—_ I don’t know what I want to d-do,” Remus mumbled. “I _—_ I’ve thought about you guys f-finding me _—_ d-dreamt a-about it,” he admitted, looking up guiltily. “B-but now you’re _here_ and I _—_ I _—_ ” His breathing started to get more rapid, and Sirius knew he had to try and calm Remus down before he spiralled. Taking a chance, he placed his hand on Remus’ back, hoping that would help. Remus stiffened under the touch but didn’t move away, so he figured it was alright. 

“I’m here. That means I’m here for you, and what you need. Yeah, I came a long way, but that means I’m alright staying nearby while you process all of this. Or _—_ or we can leave today, together. Whatever you want,” Sirius said.

“It _—_ it’s not j-just about what I w _-_ want, though. It’s about w-what’s safe, and what’s safe is me staying h-here where I can’t _—_ can’t hurt anybody,”

“I’m not sure I believe that,” said Sirius. “On the surface it might be safer, but if you take proper precautions like you did at Hogwarts, why can’t you live freely? You shouldn’t have to hide yourself away forever.”

“H-Hogwarts was luck.”

“It was everything you needed. Remus, you’re a person too. You need to be _—_ to be loved and cherished and happy like everyone else needs, and if you get that here, then great. But I’m getting the feeling that that’s not the case.”

Remus looked as though he wanted to argue Sirius’ point, but then Sirius started tracing small soothing circles on his back. All at once, Remus broke, falling into Sirius’ arms, back heaving. Holding him tightly, Sirius whispered what he hoped were words of comfort. _I’m here for you. You’re not alone. We missed you. Come back_ . After a few minutes or so _—_ the passage of time had seemed rather warped ever since he had entered the Lupin cottage _—_ Remus calmed down, but still clung to Sirius. Sirius reached up to stroke Remus’ soft tawny hair, which helped calm him further. Just as Sirius was about to apologize for his forwardness in touch, voices drifted up from downstairs. And not just Mrs. Lupin’s. This time, Sirius heard a new voice, a male voice. They were speaking in low tones, too low to hear clearly. Remus froze in Sirius’ arms. They looked at each other in dawning horror as they heard “Remus? Your father’s home early from work. Come down, baby.” Sirius could feel the tension on Remus’ body, coiled up tight. Fight or flight, he realized. And he wasn’t going to let Remus choose flight. Not after what he’d discovered today. Not after all this way.

“I think we should go talk to them,” Sirius declared.

Remus’ horror struck eyes somehow became wider. “N-no! A-are you insane? They’ll _—_ they’ll _—_ ”

“They'll what? Kick me out? Forbid you from seeing me? I won’t take that. We’re all adults here. Surely we can go and have a reasonable, adult discussion, and maybe they’ll understand just how much they’ve wronged you.”

“They _—_ they haven’t _wronged_ me! Sirius, you can’t go c-charging down there a-as my _—_ my d-defender!”

“For you I will.”

“Y-you’re mad. I’m n-not worth the effort.” 

“You, Remus Lupin, have always been worth the effort. I just wish you could see that,” Sirius said, and he hugged Remus once more, and then got to his feet and opened the bedroom door, offering his hand to Remus. Remus screwed his eyes shut, looking as though he was fighting an intense inner battle. Then he seemingly gave in and took Sirius’ hand, trembling once more. Sirius gave him a gentle smile, and led him towards a new future.

. . . 

Following Sirius out of his bedroom, Remus felt nothing but a sickening mix of dread and horror. In the past hour, his entire life had been turned upside down by the one person he had both longed for and hoped he would never see again. Sirius had barrelled straight into his lonely world and had managed to give him a sense of hope. He hadn’t felt anything like hope for the future in years and years, but here he was, telling Sirius that he had dreamed about seeing him someday. Now he was on his way downstairs to confront his parents. 

It would be a miracle if he managed to make it through without literally getting sick from the anxiety and the tension. 

As he stumbled down the stairs, Remus’ mind was whirling through his feelings, and trying to process all that Sirius had said to him. It was...surreal that Sirius was actually here, that he had come such a long way after such a long time, just for him. And Sirius had even made it sound like he and the other Marauders had never stopped thinking about him. But that wasn’t the way it was supposed to be! Why had they put so much _effort_ into finding him? To become Animagi for him! It was almost too ridiculous of a concept for Remus to believe. Surely there had been other reasons for putting in all that work. It couldn’t have just been for him. 

And to top it all off, twenty-three year old Sirius had become the most handsome man Remus had ever set sight on. He had fully grown into his already long legs and his aristocratic features, and Remus was having a hard time separating anxiety butterflies from the butterflies of attraction he used to feel at Hogwarts. Back then he had been so young, but now he knew that the fluttery feelings he had always felt around Sirius were the trademark feelings of attraction. 

But as they reached the end of the stairs and Remus caught sight of his parents in the sitting room, all the noise in his mind came to a dead stop. There was only terror, and the urge to run far away. Away from the cottage, away from his parents, away from Sirius. He could feel the wolf begin to rear its head in his conscience, telling him to either run or to fight for what he truly wanted. Remus wasn’t sure which was the right choice to make. 

Sirius tugged him down the final steps of the stairs, and Remus knew there was no going back. He caught sight of his parents, whispering together. Hope and Lyall fell silent as they looked up and saw the two arrive. And then chaos broke free. 

Hope shrieked and dove behind Lyall, who immediately went for his wand. Sirius was faster, and he moved into a proper duelling stance so quickly it seemed second nature. 

“Hello, Mr. Lupin, Mrs. Lupin,” Sirius said calmly, training his wand on Lyall. “I was hoping we could have a bit of a chat. Wands away, I think. Much less intense that way.”

“Get away from my son,” Lyall croaked. Sirius cocked his head to the side, and without letting his target out of sight, asked “Remus? Would you like me to move?”

Remus looked up at Sirius’ stoic expression. He didn’t want Sirius to leave his side. “N-no, you’re f-f-fine where you are,” he stammered, heart hammering. 

“Remus! You can’t talk to _—_ to complete strangers!” gasped Hope. “Get away from him, baby!”

“Mrs. Lupin, I’m not a stranger. My name is Sirius Black, and I went to school with Remus. We were very close. And I’ve missed him ever since he left.”

Lyall, who was already shaking from fear and adrenaline, blanched when Sirius said his name. “You’re a stranger now. And you’re in my house. How did you even find us?”

“It’s a long story. But I’m very glad I did, because what Remus told me upstairs was rather concerning.” Sirius was putting on his most haughty pureblood voice, a tone full of condescension. It was enough to make any wizard quake in his boots, and Lyall was no exception. “It concerned me very much. And so I would like to talk about it, peacefully. Let’s both put our wands away now.” He slowly moved his aim away from Lyall’s face down to the floor, and when Lyall mirrored his movements Sirius tucked his wand away.

“Much better. Mrs. Lupin, I promise I’m not here to harm your son. In fact, I care for him very much. So you can stop hiding and we can all just talk.”

Remus’ heart was in his throat, but Sirius seemed to be at ease and in complete control of the situation. Hope ducked back into view from behind Lyall, and Remus unconsciously took a step closer to Sirius. 

“Good. Very good. Alright, so you want to know how I found you. Your wards were very comprehensive,” Sirius continued, nodding to Lyall. “They were very difficult to trace. But I spent years preparing to find Remus. Anyone else would have never found you.”

“But _—_ but why?” Lyall sputtered. “Why put in all that effort? He clearly didn’t _want_ to be found. If you came all this way just to hurt him _—_ ” 

“I would never! I came all this way because I loved him!” Sirius yelled, the pureblood mask cracking. Emotion flooded into his voice. “I loved him. Remus was _—is—_ one of my very best friends. No matter what happened. And what happened was that he left because you _—_ you _brainwashed him_ into thinking no could love him if they knew he was a werewolf!”

Remus cringed at the hated word. Even after so many years, hearing it still made all his insides clench up in shame. No one dared mention it in the Lupin home, and to have Sirius essentially declare that he still loved him and had missed his friendship despite knowing everything...it was unfathomable. 

Lyall shifted around and said “I didn’t brainwash him. I just had to make sure he was being safe.”

“And so you told him he couldn’t make friends. _A child_.” 

“Yes, because it’s dangerous!”

Sirius scoffed. “What was dangerous? Our reaction to the truth? Because we made it clear to Remus that evening that we would never tell a single soul. But I don’t think you believed us,” he continued, turning to Remus. “I think we overwhelmed you to the point where you couldn’t think straight. And I’m so sorry for that. I wish we’d waited until you had rested. Maybe...maybe this would have all gone differently if we had.”

Remus shook his head, trying to gather words together. “I _—_ I d-don’t think it would have m-made a d-difference. L-leaving was the _—_ the r-right thing to do.”

Sirius’ face crumpled further into regret. “I don’t think it was the best thing for you to do,” he said. He faced Hope and Lyall again and said “And that’s what I came here for. I wanted to know if Remus was safe and happy, wherever he was. Sure, when I was younger I wanted to drag him back to school so we could all be together again...but lately I’ve realized all I want is to know that he’s happy. So, I’ll ask. Remus, are you happy here or would you like to come back to Britain with me?”

Before Remus could even begin stammering out an answer, Hope gasped and dashed over to Remus, trying to fold him up into her arms. “NO! He’s not leaving!” she shrieked. Sirius’ sculpted eyebrows shot up to his hairline. 

“Pretty sure I asked Remus, not you, Mrs. Lupin.”

“I don’t care! He’s not leaving! He _can’t_ leave! He’s too _—_ too _—_ ”

“M-mum,” Remus tried to explain himself, but Hope kept drowning out his voice as she berated Sirius for daring to come into her home and snatch her baby away. 

“MUM!” Hope cut off and Remus twisted out of her grasp. “I _—_ I don’t think it’s s-safe.”

“Remus, I swear on my magic if you come back with me you’ll have a safe place to stay. All month long. You’re never going to be a problem,” Sirius said. The wolf was rearing up in his mind, making it hard to concentrate. There was what he should do...stay here, in isolation, with his parents for the rest of his life...and what he really wanted to do. 

Not a day had gone by where he hadn’t missed Sirius and the other Marauders. Remus had always been frightened of what his present and future held: nothing but emptiness, wasting away in the outskirts of civilization, growing old and grey until _—_ until what? Until his parents had passed and he was alone in the cavernous wilderness? The wolf bayed for a pack, for company. And here was Sirius, handing him the life he’d yearned for on a silver platter. If only he was brave enough to take it. 

But he shouldn’t. And this disconnect in feelings was feeding the wolf’s rage. Suddenly he couldn’t sense anything but the red rage of the wolf, and he struggled to push it down, to lock it up again in a dark corner of his mind. He hadn’t felt the wolf this close to the surface in years and years, and as he forcefully pushed it away he felt the old but familiar breaking sensation of his own brain, and then the hot trickle of blood as it began pouring out of his nose.

Distantly he heard his mother scream again, but the world seemed to have gone fuzzy. He thought he heard his father shouting, and then there was blurry commotion all around him. He put his hands up to his face to catch some of the blood. Then someone was gently taking his arm and guiding him to sit down on the sofa. Opening his eyes he saw it was Sirius, who was also holding out a handkerchief for Remus to take. He accepted it and buried his face in it, the cool cloth helping to calm him and mop up the blood.

“Ok, just take it slow,” Sirius said in a soothing voice. Remus looked up and saw his parents clutching each other, staring at them. He had never had the wolf come so close to the surface in front of them before. Then Lyall let go of Hope and placed his hand on the hilt of his wand. 

“That’s why it’s not safe for him to leave,” Lyall declared. “It’s not just a few nights a month. He needs to be monitored and _—_ and hidden so that no one else gets hurt!” 

Sirius was quiet for a few moments. “Well, from what I’ve researched, the wolf part only comes to the surface of one’s mind in moments of extreme stress and anger. So, it would follow that making sure he’s living in safety and that he’s being supported and loved would make the wolf unlikely to surface. Quite frankly, from what I heard upstairs, I don’t think Remus is getting enough of either here.”

Lyall sputtered and Hope began to protest, but Sirius ignored them both and turned back to Remus. 

“So, I’ll ask again. Remus, would you like to come back to Britain with me?”

Remus looked straight into Sirius’ eyes, and saw all the sincerity and hope they held. He couldn’t bring himself to lie anymore. He ducked his head and nodded, and then immediately tried to ignore Hope’s wails and Lyall’s angered objections. Sirius seemed to pay them no mind, saying only for Remus’ ears “Alright. We all missed you so much, Remy. We have everything set up for you there. Is there anything you need to pack up?”

Remus couldn’t bear to look at his parents. “J-just a few b-books and things,” he said. It didn’t feel like this was real life anymore. It was as though he had stepped right into an alternate life, one where he was about to leave _—_ leave! _—_ his parents for good. Sirius handed him a sack and told him to put anything he needed in it, no need to worry about space. Then he was stumbling up the stairs, his brain not comprehending the heated conversation below even though he could hear them perfectly well. Remus packed in a daze, tossing his most important possessions and most of his wardrobe into the sack. His legs carried him back down the stairs into the sitting room, where Sirius was waiting for him.

“Ready?” Sirius asked. Remus nodded, and he heard Hope give out a loud sob. “Ok. Now this is important. I think you should be able to contact your mum and dad whenever you want, but it’s impossible to do so with this...set up,” Sirius said, looking around the cottage. “So I’ll leave my floo address here, and it’ll be your responsibility to get a connection open in order to contact your son,” he said to the Lupins, pulling out a piece of parchment from his pocket and setting it down on a table. He started walking towards the front door, expecting Remus to follow him. But Remus felt rooted to the floor, suddenly paralyzed with fear. Lyall took that moment to place himself in between Sirius and the door, blocking their exit. 

“This is _—_ this is preposterous! It’s dangerous! And I won’t allow it to happen!” Lyall shouted, and he pulled out his wand. 

Quick as a whip, Sirius had his own wand out and he pointed it squarely under Lyall’s throat. “I don’t know if you’re aware, but the whole of Britain was involved in this rather nasty war just a few months ago. I fought in it. You really don’t want to start a duel with me.”

But Lyall refused to back down. “What we did was the right thing to do. Remus, you _know_ this! We did what was necessary!” 

“You stole him away from us and you stole his life out from under him. There is nothing you can say that will make me think you have done the right thing here. Remus has made his choice, and you should honour it. Now, unless you want me to inform the Magical Congress that you are both here illegally and harbouring an unregistered werewolf, I think you’d best let us leave,” Sirius threatened. Lyall went white at the threat and moved away from the doorway, and Hope clutched at Remus, tears streaking down her face. 

“Baby, don’t leave me!” she wailed. Her voice tugged at Remus’ heart, but then he looked to Sirius, standing in the door, waiting for him.

“I _—_ I’m s-sorry,” he said. “B-but I c-can’t live here forever.”

“Yes you can! It’s where you belong! You belong with me, forever and ever!” she pleaded.

“B-but Mum, this isn’t _living_. It’s h-hiding away. And...and if t-that’s all life is, then why l-live at all?”

Hope looked stricken at this, but she loosened her grip and Remus moved away. He joined Sirius at the door, and then stopped. This was it, he was actually going to leave. He closed his eyes, finding the will to step out of the cottage. He felt Sirius’s hand find his, and then a comforting squeeze. Taking a deep breath, Remus stepped out of the Lupin cottage, not daring to look back. He heard his parent’s voices behind him but he tuned them out, focusing solely on the feeling of Sirius’ hand in his. He heard the door close and then he opened his eyes, blinking in the bright sunshine. Sirius let out a loud laugh, and then he gave Remus a big hug. Still in shock, Remus tentatively hugged him back. 

“Where do you want to go?” asked Sirius, still beaming. “We can go anywhere. The world’s our oyster!”

What a strange concept, Remus thought. In a matter of hours his own universe had expanded from the tiny cottage to the whole wide world. 

“I...I don’t really care. As long as it’s with you,” he admitted, feeling himself blush. 

Sirius barked out another laugh, and then started tugging him down the path, into the forest. 

“Well you won’t have to worry about that. Now that I’ve found you again, it’s going to take a hell of a lot for you to lose me!” Sirius declared.

Remus followed him, dazed and confused but with hope sparking in his chest for the first time in a very long time. 

. . . 

In the end, they spent a long time walking through the forested hills. Sirius chattered away the entire time, mainly about his travels and experiences in America. Eventually Sirius admitted that he had been living mainly out of a tent for the past several months, which made Remus feel both very guilty and rather loved. He hoped that Sirius hadn’t been in much discomfort just for him, but he was getting the feeling that Sirius and the other Marauders had done everything they possibly could have to find him, no matter the extra studying or the uncomfortable nights in the wilderness. 

When they arrived at Sirius’ campsite, Remus couldn’t help but look back into the forested hills that made up the landscape. He hadn’t ever left the area surrounding the Lupin cottage because both he and his parents had been terrified of running into another soul. 

“It really is beautiful,” said Sirius, joining him. 

“Y-yes, it is. B-but I...I think it’s t-time to move on.”

“You can always come back whenever you need, whenever you want. It’ll be just a portkey away.”

“T-that’s i-illegal!” Remus protested, shocked that Sirius would suggest such a thing. 

“Sure. So was becoming Animagi. Didn’t stop us though!” Sirius laughed. “Come on, I’ll show you the tent. Oh _—_ there’s only one bed. More of a cot, really. We’ll have to go somewhere else for the night.”

Remus nodded. He couldn’t even imagine sharing a bed with Sirius, especially when his emotions were already running so high. It would be a recipe for disaster. 

Sirius led him over to where the tiny tent was set up. Remus stared at the size: it looked barely big enough to fit him! 

“Ah _—_ i-is this it?” he asked, worried that Sirius had spent months searching for him in a place so tiny.

“Yeah, it expands on the inside. Not enough to fit both of us, but it was pretty comfortable!” Sirius replied cheerfully. “I’ll just take down the wards and then we can be on our way. I’ve always wanted to try out an American motel, and this looks like it’ll be as good a time as ever to try!” He began taking down the wards, and then packed up the tent, collapsing it in on itself and stuffing it in his rucksack. Then he offered his arm out to Remus. 

“I can take you by side-along? Unless your dad taught you how?” Sirius asked.

Remus looked down at his feet, embarrassment blooming in his cheeks. While he had held onto his wand after his departure from Britain, he was never able to practice anything past what was in his first year school books and his memories of second year classes because all his books had been left at Hogwarts. His parents had never purchased any new ones, and his father had definitely never given him anything like Apparition lessons. 

“N-no, side-along is f-fine,” he said softly. Sirius nodded and took his arm, and then he felt the strange squeezing sensation that came with Apparition for the first time since he arrived in America. While it was a bit unpleasant, Sirius’ magic also felt strangely comforting. It was like a warm blanket had surrounded him, keeping him safe. 

Remus opened his eyes to a slightly flatter landscape, but still covered with trees and brush. His ears picked up the rushing, whizzing sounds of fast-paced Muggle cars. Sirius must have apparated them right near a Muggle motorway, just into the brush. 

“We’re pretty close to a motel, but we need to walk the rest of the way,” Sirius said. “Don’t want to attract any attention by popping into the car park.” 

They made their way together down to the motorway, then walked alongside it until Remus caught sight of a low, long building on the horizon. There were only a couple cars in the car park, and the whole motel looked rather rundown. They carefully crossed the motorway, which was a couple moments of sheer anxiety, and then entered the motel. The lobby was small and furnished with heavy oak wood panelling, and there were several drooping plants in the corners of the room. A bored looking receptionist was seated at the welcome desk, and she didn’t look up until Sirius cleared his throat. 

“Hello, we’re looking to stay for a night here. One room, two beds?” Sirius asked with a charming smile. The receptionist blushed and her hand made its way to her hair, quickly touching it as if to assure herself it was in place. 

“Yeah, that won’t be a problem,” she giggled. “That’ll be eighteen dollars please.”

Sirius fumbled with the Muggle money, eventually just pulling out a large bill and handing it over to the receptionist. Her eyes grew even wider at this, and when she handed over his change her hand lingered a moment too long on Sirius’. Remus felt an irrational stab of hatred towards her, and he tried to stuff it back down as quick as he could. 

“Y’all have a good night now!” she said as Sirius took the key she offered and led Remus towards the suite of doors. Sirius let out a small chuckle as they walked away and found their room. “It’s the accent, drives them all mad. You wouldn’t believe the amount of attention I got in California.” Remus gave a small hum of agreement, but privately he thought it might be a combination of the accent and Sirius’ undoubtedly handsome looks. 

They entered their motel room and Remus’ eyes were immediately assaulted with a wall of floral: floral bedspreads on the two beds, chintz floral curtains, and floral table coverings on the nightstands. It was a lot to take in at once. Sirius however strode right into the room and flopped onto the furthest bed, letting out a long sigh.

“So, what do you think of the room?” Sirius asked, turning over to face Remus.

“I _—_ it’s...a lot,” he replied. 

Sirius snorted. “Yeah, they went all out. Comfy beds though.”

Remus hesitantly sat down on the other and sank quite a bit into the mattress. He let himself lean back against the headboard, and his body took that as the signal to finally relax and stop the flow of adrenaline that had been a near constant since Sirius had arrived back into his life. He closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind of noise. Over the years he had practiced meditation a lot, the clearing and emptying of his mind that Fawley had taught him so long ago. By now, he was pretty good at blocking out his surroundings and disappearing into a calmer state. Distantly he heard Sirius rummaging through his rucksack. He heard the clinking of metal and then a whispered “ _James Potter_.” 

Remus jolted himself out of the meditation when he heard his old friend’s name. He saw Sirius hunched over the side of the bed, looking into what appeared to be a small hand mirror. Then he heard what must have been James’ voice, emanating from the mirror. It was deeper than what Remus remembered, but unmistakably James. 

“Padfoot? Where are you?”

“I found him Prongs. I found him,” said Sirius, pure joy in his voice. 

“ _What?!_ ” James yelled, tinny from the mirror but full of shock. 

“Yeah, we’re staying in this shitty motel somewhere off the interstate. Prongs _—_ he’s coming home.”

The voice coming from the mirror was almost incomprehensible. Remus heard shouts of joy, then what sounded like a female voice in the background, joining in. It sounded almost like Lily’s, Remus thought, but that didn’t make any sense. Why would she be in the same place as James? 

“I know, I know,” Sirius continued. “It was a bit of a fight, but he’s here now _—_ yeah, I’ll ask.” He looked over at Remus, who was staring at the mirror. “Hey, James would like to talk to you, see if you’re alright. He’s got a mirror on his end too, it’s how we communicated in separate detentions,” he said, offering the mirror to Remus. But Remus wasn’t sure if he _could_ talk to James. His body and mind had only just begun to decompress from all the stressful events of the day, and he was beyond nervous about the idea of talking to another friend he hadn’t seen in a decade. Talking to Sirius had been sort of forced onto him, but now Sirius was giving him the choice to talk to James. He felt his body start to tremble once more with the weight of indecision. Sirius seemed to notice because he pulled back the mirror and said “It’s ok if you don’t want to. I can talk to him on my own.”

“N-no, it’s n-not that I d-don’t _w—want_ to, it’s j-just _—_ ”

“Hey, you don’t need to explain, it’s ok. I understand,” Sirius said, and he looked back into the mirror again. Remus let out a sigh of relief and slid off the bed, wanting to find the motel bathroom. He needed some time alone, and to not eavesdrop on Sirius and James’ conversation. He found the rather sketchy bathroom down the hall, made sure it was empty, and then entered and closed the door, finding himself alone for the first time since everything had happened. He braced his weight on the cracked sink and let his head hang down, trying to stave off the swelling tide of emotion rising up. _This is real_ , Remus thought, looking up at his drained reflection. _I’m in a motel with Sirius, and I’ve actually left my parents_ . He let out what was probably an insane sounding laugh and backed away from the sink, sliding down the bathroom wall and hugging his knees into his chest. _Just breathe_ , he told himself. _Just breathe and you’ll make it through this. You made the right choice._

Eventually, Remus calmed himself down and picked himself up off the bathroom floor, feeling slightly steadier and ready to go back to the shared room. Opening the door, he found that Sirius had finished his conversation with James and was now reclining back on the bed, flipping through the pages of an album. He brightened upon seeing Remus and motioned for him to come over. 

“C’mere, I brought this photo album Pete made. Let’s look through it before we call it in for the night,” Sirius suggested. Remus gave a hesitant nod and climbed onto Sirius’ bed, who shuffled over to make room for Remus. The album was open to a page with the four of them together, smiling in front of a half constructed, dilapidated fort with no door. Fort Dragon, he remembered with a pang of nostalgia. 

“This must have been the very end of first year,” Sirius said, gazing down at the photo with a smile. “Look at that, no door. What were we thinking?”

“W-we weren’t really. Just having f-fun,” Remus answered. Sirius gave a hum in agreement and then flipped forward a few pages. There were soon no more photos with Remus present, but they were still in the very early pages of the album. And then Remus was watching his friends grow up. He saw all three of them shoot up in height as they catalogued the passing of the seasons, and he saw how Peter’s distinctive style of photography evolved with the years. He saw his other classmates who had been fading from his memory in the background of photos, he saw Lily grow up as well, he saw summer photos at lush estates and then _—_

“I-is that James and Lily? _Together_?” Remus asked, staring down at a photo of a young teenage couple, cuddled up underneath a magnificent oak tree by the Hogwarts lake. 

“Oh yeah, they got together in fifth year. They’re married now, got a nice house and a sprog and everything,” Sirius said nonchalantly, unaware that what he was saying made no sense whatsoever. 

“B-but they _hated_ each other!”

“James and Lily? Naw, they just hadn’t found common ground yet. They _—_ well, after you left...let’s just say they found comfort in each other,” Sirius said. 

“Oh. And...they’re happy now?” 

Sirius smiled, and traced down the sides of the photo. “They’re one of the happiest couples I know. And Harry’s a special kid. In more ways than most.”

“Wow, I d-don’t even _—_ that’s fantastic. Just...unexpected,” Remus said, still in a bit of disbelief. “W-what about Peter? Is he m-married?” 

“Not yet, but he’s found himself a lovely girl. They’re looking pretty serious. It...hasn’t been a great time for love until just recently. James and Lily are a bit of an anomaly,” Sirius admitted. Remus wondered what exactly that meant. And also if that meant Sirius had found himself a girl or not. He didn’t think so, considering Sirius had been roaming America for months all on his own, but perhaps…

“D-do you have a _—_ a g-girl? B-back home?” Remus stammered. He wasn’t sure he really wanted to know the answer. 

“No, I don’t have anyone,” Sirius chuckled. “Been a bit of a loner to be honest. Always had something taking up my attention.” 

“Oh, I s-see,” Remus replied. Thankfully he was spared anymore conversation on that topic as Sirius began flipping through the pages. Suddenly his friends were graduating, and then there were photos taken around what must be London instead of Hogwarts, and he saw the insides of flats, and dinner parties, and then James was on one knee, and there was a whole series of some of the most beautiful photos Remus had ever laid eyes on. It was James and Lily’s wedding, and there Lily was, glowing in a white dress as she walked down the aisle accompanied by an older gentleman who must be her father. There was James waiting for her, looking beyond nervous but with Sirius, dashingly handsome, at his side. Remus felt tears well up. He had missed so much. He had missed so much happiness, so much joy, and his heart ached for what could have been. He tried to blink the tears away, and then he felt Sirius’ hand cover his. He opened his eyes to Sirius giving him the softest smile. 

“It’s ok. We all missed you too.” 

Remus nodded, unable to form words, and reached for the album. He flipped through the wedding pages, and then he saw a photo of Lily and James beaming at a shocked looking Sirius. 

“They’d just told us they were expecting Harry,” Sirius explained. “And then they asked me to be godfather, the nutters. Can you believe it? I’m the most irresponsible choice! Course, I’d never complain. Harry’s...he’s just amazing.”

“I _—_ I don’t think they m-made a bad choice,” Remus said, thinking of how much care and love Sirius could give onto others. 

Sirius laughed and reached up to tousle Remus’ hair. “Course you don’t, but that’s cause you don’t know about the many poor life choices I’ve made over the years, not all of them godfather friendly.” 

Remus flipped some more, and then there was an exhausted looking Lily holding the tiniest red-faced baby, who was already sporting a thick patch of dark hair. There was James, proudly holding his son (while also looking rather terrified) and Remus could see baby Harry’s vivid green eyes, unmistakably Lily’s. Then Sirius was holding Harry, then Peter, and then all four adults together in a cozy looking sitting room, Harry on Lily’s lap. The last pages of the album were full of Harry and his parents, with only a rare appearance from Sirius or Peter as Harry grew from a tiny infant into a wobbly toddler. The very last photograph was of the four adults and Harry, all waving at the camera in front of a family home. 

“That was taken right before I left,” Sirius said. “I’m sure Harry’s grown up some more already.” 

“Y-you don’t regret l-leaving them for m-me?” Remus asked. It was a question he didn’t want to hear answered, but had been a constant presence in his mind ever since Sirius arrived. 

Sirius gently pulled the album out of Remus’ hands and closed it. “Never. Not one moment. I _needed_ to find you. And they need you too.”

“You n-never gave up on me,” Remus said with wonder.

“How could I?” Sirius said softly. “You’re our Remy.” 

Remus didn’t know how to respond to such a statement. His entire soul felt warmed and loved. And tired, so tired. Sirius put away the album and pulled Remus into yet another hug which Remus curled into. His body relaxed and his head drooped onto Sirius’ chest. He could feel Sirius’ steady heartbeat. They lay there together until Remus nodded off, at which point Sirius shook him awake and offered him his pyjamas. He turned his back to Remus while he changed, and then they both got ready for bed, taking turns in the sketchy bathroom. Remus slipped in between the floral sheets of his bed and Sirius turned out the lights. In the darkness, Remus heard a quiet “Goodnight, Remy.” but he was too tired to reply. A deep sleep carried him away, a sleep so deep there were no dreams. There was only peace. 

. . .

Sirius woke to bright sunshine streaming through the hideous floral curtains. It was early in the morning and he blinked away the last remnants of sleep. Rolling over to face Remus’ bed, he saw that Remus was still fast asleep, his tawny hair splayed out all over the pillow. Sirius smiled at the sight, then stretched and got out of bed. They should probably get going, no point in staying at the motel much longer. He gently shook Remus awake. 

“Good morning,” Sirius said. “Have a good sleep?”

Remus looked around the room with wide eyes, as if remembering where he was and how he got here. “Y-yes, it was g-good.”

“Good. We should probably get dressed and get going. I have a portkey with me that I’ll activate when we’re ready, it’ll take us right to my flat.”

Remus nodded and then yawned, shaking off the sleep. They both got dressed and washed up, and then Sirius gathered up all of their belongings and pulled out a small wooden box he had enchanted many moons ago as a portkey. He tapped it with his wand and murmured the activation charm, then made sure they both had a firm grasp on it. There was a couple seconds of suspense and then Sirius felt the jerk behind his navel as the portkey activated and whisked them an ocean away.

Sirius held onto Remus as he felt his feet touch the floor of his flat, making sure Remus was steady. He looked around the flat, which seemed untouched. It had been a long absence, and he was glad to see familiar surroundings. Sirius then watched Remus take in the flat. It was definitely a bachelor pad, all dark furnishings and plenty of punk posters. 

“I-it’s very nice,” Remus said, looking at all the posters and records Sirius had up on his walls. 

“It’s a sight for sore eyes, that’s for sure. Here, let me take all the baggage in,” Sirius offered, relieving Remus of the extendable rucksack. He brought it into his bedroom and then opened the window wide. It had been six months after all, and the flat desperately needed an airing out. Then he spotted the stuffed animal perched on his bedside table. It was an old raggedy black dog, discovered years ago when they were packing up the dorm at the end of second year. It had to have been Remus’, and it was high time it was returned to its rightful owner. He picked it up and walked back into the sitting room, where Remus was examining some of the posters on the wall. 

“Hey, I’ve been holding onto something that I think belongs to you,” Sirius said with a smile. “Is he _—_ or she _—_ yours?” 

Remus turned around, a look of disbelief taking over when he saw the stuffed dog. “I _—_ I _—_ I can’t b-believe...yes! Yes, that’s mine. H-how did you _—_ ”

Sirius grinned as he placed the dog in Remus’ hands. “Found them when we were cleaning out the dorm before summer hols. Figured I should keep them safe.”

Remus stroked the little dog’s raggedy fur. “T-this is Gwyllgi,” he said, the Welsh name flowing in his lovely accent. “I k-kept him a secret from you lot. Thought it was a bit ch-childish.”

“Psh, you’re never too old for stuffed animals. I’m just glad I could reunite him with you.”

“T-thank you. It’s...it’s n-nice to know you kept him all these years.” Remus set Gwyllgi down on a side table and looked up at Sirius, who was probably grinning stupidly. “So...what now?”

“Well, I know of at least three people who would love to see you and one adorable toddler who would love to meet you. What say we go pay them a visit?

Remus hesitated, and then nodded in agreement. “H-how shall we get there?”

“Ah, well. I’ve got a little not-so godfather friendly mode of transportation I prefer to use. What’s your opinion on motorbikes?” Sirius asked, laughing as Remus’ eyes widened in shock. “It’s totally safe, don’t worry. Definitely the best way to take in the London skyline.” 

Remus seemed very confused at that, but said “Ok...if y-you’re s-sure.” Sirius grinned and gestured for Remus to follow him outside, where he had carefully concealed his bike in the shadows of an alleyway next to his building. He hopped on, dusting off the seat and the handlebars. Oh, he had missed his bike dearly. 

“Come on then! Make sure you’re holding on tight!” Sirius called out to Remus, who gingerly climbed on behind Sirius, hugging Sirius loosely. 

“Y-you’re sure this is s-safe?” Remus asked.

“It’ll be safer if you hold on tighter!” Sirius said as he cast a quick Disillusionment charm over them. Remus tightened his arms around Sirius’ middle, and then they were off, picking up speed as they drove down the alleyway and out into the street. Sirius could feel Remus’ heart pumping fast, and he grinned as he tilted the motorbike upwards, taking them to the skies. 

“Y-you d-didn’t tell me it _f-flies_!” Remus yelped. 

“Sorry!” Sirius yelled back over the noise of the roaring bike. “But what fun is a motorbike that doesn’t even fly!” 

They were steadily gaining height now, and he saw the city unfurl beneath them, a sprawling grid of buildings with the twisting river sparkling through the center. Sirius heard Remus gasp at the sight, and if he hadn’t already seen it dozens of times Sirius would have done the same. There was nothing quite like a motorbike ride over London, but it felt even more special experiencing it with Remus. 

Eventually the city’s sprawl gave way to neater Muggle suburbs, and soon they were flying over endless fields of green on their way to Godric’s Hollow. The roar of the motorbike lessened as he brought them downwards, slowing down for the village. They reached solid ground again and he heard Remus let out a small sigh of relief. He never did enjoy their flying lessons, Sirius recalled wryly. They sped into the heart of the village, and then there was James and Lily’s cottage, right on the outskirts. Sirius parked the motorbike out front and checked for Muggles. Seeing none, he took down the Disillusionment charms and helped Remus off the bike. 

“Wasn’t that fun?” Sirius asked, chuckling a bit at Remus’ disheveled hair. 

“I-it was something,” Remus replied, looking rather shaky. Sirius gave him a moment to calm down and collect himself, then walked up to the cottage door.

“Ready to do this?” Sirius asked. 

Remus looked up at the cottage, then closed his eyes for a second. 

“Yes, I’m ready,” he answered, steeling himself and joining Sirius on the doorstep. Sirius gave him a smile and knocked on the door. He heard James and Lily’s voices from inside, and then happy shouts that must be Harry. Remus drew in a sharp breath and Sirius reached down to take his hand, giving it a light squeeze. He felt a squeeze back. The door swung open and there was James and Lily and Peter, and Harry toddling in between, all laughing and greeting them with love. 

Remus’ smile could light up a city, Sirius thought. It was the most beautiful sight in the world.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> All the thanks goes out to the Shifting Lines server for supporting me through this beast of a fic! I had so much fun with it, and hopefully it was everything your hearts desired!


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